This is the comment I woke upto this morning, it was on one of the early blogs where I was still with X and leading the high life, all I can say is jealousy is a terrible thing sweetheart! People make me laugh when they judge the SB life if you dont like it dont read about it why come on someones' blog just to judge them, you must have been looking for stuff about sugarbabies. That makes you very dumb!
Now I keep getting emails asking how to get gifts on a first date or shall I sleep with him on first date to get an arrangement started. My answer NO! This isn't the deli counter its not try before you buy, this is the start of a realtionship and me I dont believe you shoudl give it up on the first date, if he isnt happy with that, then lets be honest he will probably keep you around for a little bit and then you wont hear from him again it wont be a long term thing! And that's coming from my experiences and others who have contacted me wondering why the guy has stoppeed contacting them or taking their calls.
Any guy can flash the cash for a couple of weeks for a day at a time, this is the long game not short term!
For me a pay per visit is not a sugarbaby that is an escort and I do not mean to offend someone if thats what they choose, but a sugarbaby is more than meeting for dinner and sex and getting a evenlope of cash and then your on your way its about finding a guy you conect with, that can help you financially, or with gifts, or with living a lifestyle you want to!
After all there are a number of SB types but for me the main three are:
Allowance SB - a SB who wants an allowance month in month out, the most standard of SB's really its the holy grail of SB's as there arent many SD's out there who are looking to do this!
Gift SB - the SB who just wants some expensive gifts, to be taken shopping, taken on spa days, the odd week away. To be honest this is the most common SD as most men can't afford to be the Allowance SD without their partner becoming suspicious if they have one, or have the time to justify the allowance most SB's want!
Lifestyle SB - this is the SB who just wants to live in the lifestyle maybe being taken to polo, going out to the best resturants, stay in the best hotel, go to the nicest holiday destinations, this SB doesn't wants gifts or an allowance she just wants to live in the lifestyle for a couple of hours a week or month, this is also more fitting of the Sb who also just wants a mentor!
So for me girls my best advice stop giving it up so quick! And stop with the mulitple SD's no SD wants to feel like he is just one of many after all most SD's have big ego's just some of them have the wallets to match!
Now whats going on in my life I was in london over the weekend seeing Izzie, and who did I run into but X!!! I didnt sleep with him but I did give him my card with my address and telephone number! We spoke for hours and well the spark has never gone, so I get home and my neighbour stops me and says she has a package for me that got delievered on sunday.
I open it up and inside are 3 Alexander McQueen scarfs one pink, one white and one black!God this man knows my taste so well.
There was also a not inside now I am not going to tell you everything but basically he tells me he is sorry, that he still loves me and wants me back in his life! And I am seriously thinking about it. I never stopped loving X and to be honest no-one has compared to him in the SD dating world or the regular dating world!
If I do go into it again though some stuff will be changing for a start I wont be moving to London I love my life back home and being so close to my family especially after my bampi passed away so recently I still can't believe its coming upto 2 months that he left us! And secondly if I do give him a second chance this is it! Any mistakes and he wont see me again. I have been pretty good at not contacting him and not weakening, but after my bampi passed I realised life is too short and everyone is allowed one mistake in a relationship and can I really let that one mistake wipe out all the years of happiness!
OOh have been reading loads this past 6 months from a woman called Lousie bagshawe her books are amazing and are all about women coming from nothing to an amazing life. Hopefully you will love them as much as me!
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Venus Envy
Venus Envy
5 comments:
Jess, I think you should give him another chance.
What he did to you wasn't nice but I don't think he was intending to hurt you. People make mistakes and I guess he realises that now. If you like him, and you still love him and he still loves you after all this time, then surely that is a sign that its worth something. And as you said, just one more chance and that's it. There's no point searching through the silly men on SD and SA who have no idea what a real SD is meant to be. They will never compare to the guy you had, and everything they do you will be thinking how different X did it.
I think you're making the right choice Jess. Go for it, be happy again. I think you deserve it!!
Jess,
I went through a similar thing. I was with an SD in the past and while he did not do me wrong the way X did to you he did hurt me. I decided to give him a second chance and to be honest with you, even with our undeniable chemistry, old habits never die. In my case, he was a habitual liar... I really hope your story has a better ending than mine. Go for it but guard your heart...
well put beginning of the blog [ always will be controversy to this lifestyle.. and honestly we gotta stop worrying when people stop hating right? ;) ]. best wishes with X and you seem to be on the correct mind set if you do reenter a relationship with him x3
Hi,
I read you blog once in a while, I'm not interested the 'culture' per se (if not from a sociological standpoint), but I take it as a guilty pleasure, in a chick-lit kind of way. It started as a research for a paper on the superstructural aspects that contributed to the financial crisis, but I actually enjoy it now.
Honestly, I don't agree with judging individual choices, but I really don't believe the comment you quoted in this post was left out of jealousy. The idea that a lack of self-respect has to be involved in a life choice like yours is not absurd, maybe not fitting for each of you, different people have different stories, but not absurd.
Personally, as much as reading about big shot ego-maniacs using money almost directly stolen from pensioners to relegate younger, prettier women, in a new, modern, position of submission entertains me, it also saddens me. Our entire culture saddens me, feminism started failing us when it attempted to become hip and nobody ever taught us how to be our own prince charming.
Do you think there are no attractive, sexually liberated women in barking? There are, they are just too 'castrating'.
I was glad when you dumped the guy, because a mistake is to scream at you, cheat on you, forget an anniversary, but attempting to trade you, as if you were a stock, is just the unequivocal expression, the logical conclusion of the culture these men, and this lifestyle, if you will, represent: bringing women back where they started, making them once more into property. The reason why you can vote, divorce an abusive husband, or own a piece of land is because someone stood up against this very mentality once. The advice of a stranger here, is to, please, do the same.
Keep pursuing your degree, fight to excel and the pair of louboutins you'll buy with your first good pay-check will feel much, much more comfortable: they'll be yours, you'll be yours. You'll be finally walking in your own shoes.
Julia
Jealousy is terrible
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